Kwotes - Um universo de diversão e estupidez

KWOTES é um site onde são postadas todas as baboseiras encontradas nos canais de bate-papo (como o IRC), como exemplo vão aqui algumas asneiras hilariantes:


<.mikkel>If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?
<.celestya>i dont think so
<.mikkel>Wanna go camping?

<.ocher>hey guyz
<.ocher>I SUCK DICK FOR COKE
<.ocher>o god...
<.ocher>i think my brother has a wireless kb plugged in
<.ocher>IM A HUGE FAG
<.ocher>yep...
<.ocher>he does...
<.ocher>MAKE BONDAGE AND BEASTIALITY NATIONAL PASTTIMES
<.ocher>argh brb* Ocher is now known as Ocher`Beastiality`Pwnz
<.ocher`beastiality`pwnz>O SHIT HERE HE COMES

<@Quasi> I feel like my life is a movie.
<@Quasi> But it's being shown on TV.
<@Quasi> So all the sex scenes are cut.

<.tumult>well that was like the coolest class period i've ever had
<.lasombra>tumult ?
<.tumult>this kid asks me for a dollar so he can get something from a vending machine
<.tumult>i tell him i don't have one (truth)
<.tumult>he says bullshit
<.tumult>i tell him to fuck off
<.tumult>he stands up and punches me in the face three times
<.tumult>sits back down
<.tumult>teacher doesn't notice/care
<.tumult>so blood is pouring out onto my desk
<.tumult>from my lip
<.tumult>i turn to the girl next to me and say
<.tumult>"hey, can i use one of the tissues jammed into your bra?"
<.zyko^>what did she do?
<.tumult>punched me in the face

<.weirdbeard>well my dad is icelandic, my mother is cuban
<.weirdbeard>i'm an icecube

<.guo_si>Hey, you know what sucks?
<.thexphial>vaccuums
<.guo_si>Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<.thexphial>black holes
<.guo_si>Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<.thexphial>lava?

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

<[TN]FBMachine> i got kicked out of 'Barnes and Noble' once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section


Excelente paródia d´O Corvo de E. A. Poe:

<.link>once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.